Payday Loans
Dolph Lundgren

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Running Man, 1987.  Don Johnson, Dolph Lundgren, Christopher Reeve and Patrick Swayze were swept aside by the  mighty Schwarzi for Ben Richards  in the 23rd of Stephen King’s staggering 313 screen credits. . Four other helmers were dropped and Arnie did not rate director Paul Michael Glaser. ”He shot it  like a TV show, losing all of the script's deeper themes.”  PMG was David Starsky in TV’s Starsky and Hutch,  so…  surprise, surprise! 
  2. Roddy Piper, They Live, 1987The pitch was fine:Drifter finds some sunglasses that let him to see that aliens have taken over the Earth. And, apparently, the film.  Lousy! Which is probably why 18 other big guns, said nadato being Nada: Lundgren, Alec Baldwin, Michael Biehn, Jeff Bridges, Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Tommy Lee Jones, Michael Keaton, Christophe(r) Lambert, Bill Paxton, Ron Perlman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Patrick Swayze, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis (plus three mere pistols: Brian Bosworth, Bruce Campbell, Stephen Lang).  And the less said about Russell’s wrestler replacement, the better.“Just John Carpenter as usual,” said the Washington Post,  “trying to dig deep with a toy shovel.”
  3. Mark Harmon, The Presido, 1988.  Lee Marvin and Jeff Bridges as two cops with a history  became  Sean Connery and Don Johnson and wound  up as Connery and Harmon...   Strange that so many - Lundgren, Alec Baldwin, Michael Biehn, Jeff Bridges, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Richard Gere, Michael Keaton, Bill Pullman, Dennis Quaid, Kurt Russell, Patrick Swayze, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis… even rival biceps Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone - were contacted for the second banana rôle. And a bad one. Matching what Chicago critic Roger Ebert called “a clone, of a film assembled out of spare parts from… the cinematic junkyard.”
  4. Patrick Swayze, Next of Kin, 1989.    Country bumpkins v the Mafia. Again! For the hero of his respun Raw Deal, 1985, UK director John Irvin went from the obvious aces - Jeff Bridges, Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, , Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Kurt Rusell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis - to the also-rans: Michael Biehn, Tommy Lee Jones, Kris Kristofferson, Dennis Quaid. And even the Swedish Lundgren French Christophe(r) Lambert and Belgian Jean Claude Van Damme… for a Chicago cop!

  5. Matt Salinger, Captain America, 1989.
    First screen version of the WWII propaganda comicbook hero - Defender of the Defenceless - since Republic’s 1944 serial (with Dick Purcell), and two 1979 tele-quickies (Rep Brown).  A 1981 Universal plan, sub-headed Sentinel of Liberty, with Jeff Bridges as Cap Am never flew. Nor did Cannon’s 1984 take which UK director Michael Winner never got around to casting (well, not out loud).  Producer Menahem Golan, quit Cannon, started (but not for long) 21st Century Films and brought Cap and Cannon regulars with him: director Albert Pyun, actor Michael Dudikoff, aka American Ninja. But Pyun wanted ex-footballer Howie Long! (“manliest man on the planet,” said Hunter S Thompson). He also saw Brian Bosworth, VaL Kilmer (he quit for The Doors), Dolph Lundgren (did his own frozen hero bit with Universal Soldier). Arnold Schwarzenegger (mitt dat accent), even Richard Thomas from The Waltons (Cannon’s earlier choice for Red Skull).  And the winner was…the son of JD Salinger, no less!   Director and star were Cap Am fans as kids. Not evident from this mess. "Pretty difficult to make a film when… we actually had no money in the bank," said Pyun. (Told you Golan was producing). Designed to coincide with Cap ‘s 50th birthday in 1990 (when Chris Evans was nine),  the film never got a US release until 21 years later to cash in on Marvel showing how it  should be done.

  6. Stefanos Miltsakakis, Waxwork II: Lost In Time, 1992.    Some Swedes have no sense of fun. Dolph did not relish an offer to play... Frankenstein’s monster.Stefanos, a Greek judo star, weighed 100kg and survived five films with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
  7. Steve John Shepherd, , RPM, 1997.    Tarantino compadre Roger Avary wrote the script - for Lundgren, Daniel Auteuil, Yun-Fat Chow, Matt Dillon, Tcheky Karyo, Nastassja Kinski, Vanessa Paradis, Tom Savini, Terence Stamp - and Avary’s Killing Zoe stars: Jean-Hugues Anglade and Eric Stoltz.  He then decided against directing. The producer hired Ian Sharp “and the two guys who did Grumpier Old Men [!?!] to rewrite my script.” Actually, Donald Cammell (using the pseudonym Franklin Brauner), just before his death. Avary removed his name from the ensuing mess.
  8. James Woods, Vampires, 1997.       Dolph was set as heroic Jack Crow for Australian director Russell Mulch - instead, they quit to make Silent Trigger.  And Jimmy became “as savage as the prey he's going after” for John Carpenter.
  9. Harry Hamlin, Frogs For Snakes, 1998.     US writer-director Amos Poe comic-actioner about unemployed actor smoonlighting as gangsters. “Not a film so much as a filmed idea,” wrote Roger Ebert, “a very bad idea.”
  10. Çasper Van Dien, Meltdown, 1998.    A three-year distribution hassle between Miramax and Trimark, melted Dolph'sinterest and the 90s' Tarzan took over.

  11. Andrew Bryniarski, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 2003.      Invited to play Leatherface, Lundgren begged off “to spend more time with my family”- Latin for “looking for better scripts.”  The 1974 original Leatherface introduced himself to producer Michael Bay at a Christmas party and won the unnecessary re-make - indeed, “contemptible, vile, ugly and brutal,”said Chicago critic Roger Ebert.
  12. Cerina Vincent, It Waits, 2005.      Designed as a monster movie for Lundgren in 2003, it alsohit the nearestvideo-bin - after TV scenarist Stephen J Cannell turned Mike into Dani.
  13. Mark Dacascos, Alien Agent, 2006.     Instant video-bin fodder. Originally set for Dolph before, after 36 films in 22 years, he grew up.
  14. Billy Crudup, Watchmen, 2008.    Not so much “Who watches the watchmen?” as Juvenal asked, but who them playeth?  And in the 20 years it took for Alan Moore’s DComic-book to be filmed, directors came and went - Darren Aronofsky, Michael Bay, Tim Burton, Terry Gilliam, Paul Greengrass.  So did their choices for Jon Osterman, aka the blue Dr Manhattan: Lundgren, Joaquin Phoenix, Arnold Schwarzenegger, even Keanu Reeves (!).
  15. Micke Spreitz, Millennium:Flickan som lekte med elden (The Girl Who Played With Fire), Sweden, 2009.    The first film of Stieg Larsson’s triumphant trilogy lost one international Swedish star (Stellan Skarsgård). So did the second when Lundgren has little hesitation in rejecting such a minor and heavy role - and, indeed, his first Swedish film in his 37-movie career since 1985. The same character, Ronald Niedermann, was also in the finale, Millennium 3: Luftslottet som sprängdes (The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest). played again by Micke Spreitz, renamed Mikael for the occasion(s).
  16. Ron Perlman, Conan the Barbarian, 2010.    Jon Osterman, aka Dr Manhattan, was going to be Swedish in the early 90s. Trouble was director Terry Gilliam always wanted a three-and-a-half-hour movie in two chapters.

  17. Tom Cruise, Jack Reacher, 2011.
    Some of the names – and heights – up for Lee Child’s craggy ex-military cop-cum-Sherlock-homeless  were absurd.  Jim Carrey, for example. Jim Carrey!  Some 25 others  were Nicolas Cage, Russell Crowe, Johnny Depp, Cary Elwes,  Colin Farrell, Harrison Ford, Jamie Foxx, Mel Gibson, Hugh Wolverine Jackman, Dwayne Johnson (“I look back in gratitude that I didn’t get Jack Reacher”),  Avatar’s Stephen Lang, Dolph Lundgren, Edward Norton, Ron (Hellboy) Perlman, Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves (he became John Wick x 5),  Kurt Russell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Will Smith, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vince Vaughn, Denzel Washington and the battle-fatigued  Bruce Willis.  Any of them would have been more acceptable than Tom Cruise  – with the exception of Carrey, Depp, Elwes, Reeves and, obviously the Euros. Pitt was best of the pack (remember Fight Club?)… although no one even thought of the obvious choice -   Liam Neeson!  Reacher fans were livid about  the 5ft 5ins Cruise daring to be  the  6ft 5ins  action hero. Reminiscent of Anne Rice’s capitulation over  tiny Tom as her “very tall” Lestat in  Interview With The Vampire, in 1994, author Lee Child declared: “Reacher’s size is a metaphor for an unstoppable force - which Cruise portrays in his own way.” Ah! But then in 2018, after the sequel, Child changed his tune about his child. (They share the same birthday, October 29).  ”Ultimately, the readers are right. The size of Reacher is really, really important and it's a big component of who he is... So what I've decided to do is – there won't be any more movies with Tom Cruise… We're re-booting,  we're going to try and find the perfect guy.” And they did with 6ft. 2ins Alan Richtson – Aquaman in Smallville and Hawk in Supergirl and Titans – for the Amazon series.

  18. Jason Statham, Homefront, 2012.     Deliverance Meets Taken. Sylvester  Stallone adapted  it years before from  Chuck Logan’s novel.  Indeed, it almost became a Rambo chapter.  When too old for the hero, he told Statham  about it during their Expendables  shoots… which is where Lundgren also got keen on  it. But he was too old as well, and, anyway, Sly was producing! 
  19. Steven Seagal, The Perfect Weapon, 2016.  In his total wreck of a career, the unpleasant Seagal(on and off the screen)  made  a stupid habit of picking up scripts rejected by superstars Clint Eastwood and Bruce Willis, the less savvy Chuck Norris and… now..… Lundgren, who’d aleady seen clips from his The Peacekeeper, 1996, and Sweepers, 1998,  inserted into another Seagal loser, The Ticker, 2001.
  20. Josh Brolin, Deadpool 2, 2017.   With Ryan Reynolds reigning supreme as the wise-cracking, cancer-ridden, super smart-ass hero, who could oppose him as Cable, the heftily armed cyborg?  (“You’re dark - sure you’re not from the DC Universe?” our Marvel hero asks him). Deadpool creator Rob Liefeld wanted Russell Crowe - and even after Brolin signed, pushed for Jon Hamm. Other Mr Impregnable ideas included Alec Baldwin, Pierce Brosnan, David Harbour, Stephen Lang, Brad Pitt (he shot his Vanisher cameo in two hours), Michael Shannon and the wrinkly brigade (yawn) Mel Gibson, Dolph Lundgren, Ron Perlman, Kurt Russell, Arnold Schawarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. Already Marvel’s villain Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War, Brolin had a four-film deal, to reveal more about Cable and, doubtless, extra gags about his stepmother Barbra Streisand’s 1982 Yentl.
  21. Tom Hardy, Venom, 2017.   "Think of yourself as my ride." First planned in 1997 (with Dolph Lundgren), then flitting through Spider-Man 2 (as Topher Grace), Marvel’s Venom  - a sentientalien symbiote choosing human hosts (Spider-Man was the first in 1984) - won his own feature. Because Tom Hardy’s son  was a fan. And Dad saw why.  "He's the coolest Marvel hero because he has a brazen swagger and a zero foxtrot attitude." Kellan Lutz and Finn Wittrock were among the almost hosts.




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